During the 2010 GA Conference one of the workshops discussed things to do instead of gambling. The workshop focused on listing all of the things you did before you started gambling. Then, they had you list why you stopped doing those activities. After that we were asked to list what we would like to do now that we have stopped gambling or if we were to stop gambling.
It was interesting to see that many of us had stopped doing our hobbies and the things that we enjoyed when gambling consumed our lives. The primary reasons people quit doing their activities were lack of energy, time, and money. Of course this made sense since we spent all of our energy, time, and money on gambling.
When I quit gambling, it was very difficult for me to figure out what to do. Everything seemed incredibly boring, like it took too much energy, or I did not have the money to do what I used to do.
Initially, when I thought about what I loved to do before gambling I came up with the following list.
- Skiing
- Camping
- Hiking
- Photography
- Painting
- Writing
- Playing pool
- Playing games with the family
- Reading
I had excuses for why I could not do most of the items on the list. The reality was that I had gambled for so long that I could not remember how much I enjoyed any of the activities. They all seemed to require way to much effort. When it came to skiing, that took too much money and energy; camping - could only be done during the summer; hiking - to much energy; photography - that was a plausible option; painting - seemed boring; writing - where would I start and what would I write about; playing pool - this was something that I did focus on right away, but of course I had to play every single night; playing games with the family - I was too edgy and it seemed like a boring idea; and lastly reading - I did not have enough time for that.
(To be continued....) Almost a year ago I posted this page and mentioned that it would be continued. I can say that the toughest part of recovery for me in the beginning was the boredom, the edginess, the lack of interest in anything, and the depression. It was hard for me to consider something being more fun than gambling. To be honest, it took a few months before I really began enjoying anything at all. Now, I enjoy the fact that I do not have the adrenaline rush of gambling, because with that "fun" that I thought I was having came devastation. How I could think walking in to a casino, spending hours (if it was a good night) in isolation, and more often than not leaving with that horrible sick to my stomach, disgust that became the norm near the end, was fun. How could throwing away my hard earned money be fun? Why did I think gambling my future away and potentially my home and family be exciting. How can something like a slot machine have such control over me? I will never understand when the transition occurred from truly being "fun" to being a "problem." It was such a subtle process for me and took years before it became a problem in my life. I still do not understand how I did not see what was happening right in front of me. How could I have missed what was happening and not accepted the reality? I do not know.
Now, I find that I enjoy doing almost anything. I enjoy the lack of excitement in my life. I savor it when life is calm. I no longer crave the adrenaline rush that was my drug of choice.
- Going for drives
- Writing
- Playing with my daughter at the park or in the yard
- Being able to pay my bills! This is one of the best ones!!!
- Working around the yard
- Relaxing - that was not a word that I would have even considered in my "gambling" life
- Sitting on the deck, closing my eyes, and feeling the sun or the gentle breeze - actually experiencing the present.
- Having a clean house
- Going to garage sales with my kids
- Finding bargains on craigslist (probably my new addiction in some way, but much healthier!)
- Making extra money doing things that I enjoy, such as refinishing furniture and editing/writing
- Dreaming about the future - a realistic, attainable future
- Sleeping without feeling like my world was caving in
- Having the money to fix something when it breaks (like our car)
- Having the money to pay the power bill on time
- Going to work after eight hours of sleep instead of one or two
This list could go on forever. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am enjoying life. Living in the present - through both the good and bad. Having the strength to deal with life on life's terms. Having the energy to fix the things that I can change. These are all incredible benefits of recovery for me. I am still so thankful for the choice I made almost a year ago. I could never have imagined that things would have improved so quickly - never in a million years. It was the best choice I ever made.
The following are sites and information that I found when I was first seeking out information.
When I was looking up resources for dealing with stress I found the following site. In my opinion, it can be applied to dealing with the idle time that is available once you quit gambling.
Finding Pleasure
When stress makes you feel bad, do something that makes you feel good. Doing things you enjoy is a natural way to fight off stress. It is also a great way to deal with the withdrawals from gambling.
You don't have to do a lot to find pleasure. Even if you're ill or down, you can find pleasure in simple things such as going for a drive, chatting with a friend, or reading a good book.
Try to do at least one thing every day that you enjoy, even if you only do it for 15 minutes.
- Start an art project (oil paint, sketch, create a scrap book, or finger paint with grandchildren).
- Take up a hobby, new or old.
- Read a favorite book, short story, or newspaper.
- Have coffee or a meal with friends.
- Play golf, tennis, ping-pong, or bowl.
- Sew, knit, or crochet.
- Listen to music during or after you practice relaxation.
- Take a nature walk — listen to the birds, identify trees and flowers.
- Make a list of everything you still want to do in life.
- Watch an old movie on TV or rent a video.
- Take a class at your local college.
- Play board games with family and friends.
