The holidays are coming and I want to let you all know that you are in my thoughts. If you are dealing with a gambling addiction in your life, it can be incredibly overwhelming. It has been almost 15 months since I last gambled. I can still honestly say that recovery is going so much better than I thought it would. Once I was able to find my way back from rock bottom, to start my life over and leave gambling behind, life has improved so much faster than I thought it would. Time goes by so quickly. I am finally able to enjoy my family, the holidays, and life. It has been so fun to decorate the house with my 4-year old and watch the excitement in her eyes.
It has been 3 months since I decided to leave my high-stress career to work virtually as a freelance editor. It was a very scary move, but since I am no longer gambling, we were able to take the chance. Luckily enough I am very busy and things are working out so far! Today I was thinking about my life without gambling. I will never forget that horrible, drowning feeling. Financially I was buried and consumed by a job that I allowed to take over my life. The key word is "allowed." I felt I had no way out - maybe that I did not deserve something better. My confidence and self-worth is finally coming back. I sure have missed it!
A large portion of my freelance work is writing resumes for 100K+ executives. It sounds so simple when you compare it to directing business operations. What I found is that I love my job! I am finally able to help people. I get to know each client, their struggles, and their goals for the future. So many of them are where I was - they want their lives back and to focus on what is important in life instead of just trying to survive. It is so easy to get caught up with money issues and to think money will solve all of our problems. That is not the case. Money does not solve everything or there would be a lot more happy people in the world! Maybe I thought gambling would solve my financial problems and a big win would improve my life. Maybe I thought climbing up the career ladder would make me happy. Okay, yes, I thought both would make me happy. What took me too long to realize was that I already had everything I needed to be happy. I have children that love me no matter what and a wonderful and amazing husband. We all have something important in our life that cannot be bought with money. Sometimes it can be so hard to see the good things when everything else is crashing down.
I guess I just want to say remember the human aspect of life. Remember to enjoy the little things and do not try to solve all of your problems at once. Sometimes it is easier to take life one hour at a time instead of one day at a time and that is okay. When I feel myself getting anxious and stressed I have to remind myself to take a breath and stop. The spiral of stress, worry, and anxiety is what triggers my need to escape. For me, I escaped to the casinos and hid from life. I never want to live like that again. Of course, I would love to escape once in awhile but I think somewhere tropical sounds much better!
