It has been over six months since I last posted to my blog. I have to admit that I have been caught up with life. Many times it is easy to write when everything is going well, but difficult when stress gets in the way.
A quick review of the last six months:
I have been self-employed since September 2011. This has been an amazing and highly stressful experience. It is great when I am busy and the clients pay, but very stressful when the work slows down and clients don't pay or take forever to pay. There are times where I debate if leaving my job was a good choice when finances are tight, but when things are busy, I love it.
When it comes to the gambling part, I have to admit that I went to the casino twice. Both times I felt guilty the entire time I was there and was very disappointed with my lack of self-control. Luckily, I went in with a limited amount of cash and when I left I did not have the desire to go back. It has been 4 months since I went last and I still have no urge to return. Even though I have only gone twice in two years, I know that I could fall back into gambling at any time.
When I am bored or stressed is when I have to pay attention since those are my triggers. The way I deal with those urges is to play games on the computer, simple, mindless games. They allow me to escape reality and "thinking" and give me a chance to unwind. This has been the single best way for me to deal with life.
I still focus on the most important thing I have learned through all of this. The GA motto: focus on changing the things I can, not the things that are out of my control. If I work to change the things I can and pray about the things I cannot change, it helps reduce my stress levels. It sounds simple, but so often I find myself stressing about the things I cannot change. All that does is lead to more stress with no change in the end result.
Another thing I learned is that focusing on things outside of "my personal world" provides me with a better perspective.
If we wait till we are rich, care free, and have a life without stress to be happy, we will never be happy. Plain and simple.
We have to be thankful for what we do have, even if it may not seem like much.
I wish all of you suffering with a gambling or another addiction all of the strength and courage in the world to fight it. You are not alone. So many people deal with some type of addiction or another. It does not mean you are a bad person, weak, or useless. We all have something to offer and no one is perfect.
Remember to focus on the big picture and not just what's right in front of you. Set goals (small and large) and celebrate when you accomplish each one. No goal is too small when it comes to happiness, controlling your addiction, or progressing in recovery.
You are all in my thoughts and I will do my best to write more often.
Feel free to leave a comment, let me know what helps you with your addiction, how do you deal with stress, how do you find happiness when life gets you down. I would love to share your tips and insight with the readers of this blog. Even if it only helps one person, it is worth it.
I wish you all the best!
