17. Checking in - Feb. 2, 2011

I am checking in to say hi and let everyone know that everything is going well.  The office move has taken up all of my time so time is flying by.  I worked 148 hours over the last two weeks!  Needless to say there has been little time to think about much of anything let alone gambling.  In the past my job and stress was one of the biggest triggers for me to gamble.  The casino was my escape.  Now, if the thought crosses my mind it is only there briefly.  I acknowledge it and then it is gone.  I no longer think of the casino as an escape.  That is a tremendous difference from the past.  Before I stopped gambling, the thought of never going to a casino again was absolutely terrifying.  It was the last thing I would give up.  Since I started recovery, the reality that I can never place that first bet has become a part of life.  I no longer feel like I am giving up something or missing out on something.  What an amazing gift!  I am so thankful for finding GA, for the strength that God has given me, and for all of the support I have received.  There are many people who I thought would judge me and look at me as weak, but that has not been the case.  They respect me for acknowledging that I have a problem and taking action to get help.  I was very surprised by how different their reactions were compared to my expectations.  Maybe it is because gamblers judge themselves more than anyone else ever could.  No matter what the reason, I can honestly say that I am thankful for everything right now.  My life has improved so much since I quit gambling and I have hope for the future.  What an amazing gift.